I'm SO ashamed
I'm embarrassed to even admit what happened to me today, but I can't stop thinking about it so I will share. I was at the gym this morning, it was 5 am, so i wasn't all there (i'm trying to make myself feel better). I started on the elliptical trainer which I usually do for about 10-15 minutes to warm up and then I run on the treadmill. I usually put my headphones on right away and BLAST my music just to stay awake and motivated, but I had noticed that my battery was low on my mp3 player so I chose to not use it until I ran. So I was starting my workout when I heard the most horrendous conversation going on in front of me. Right in front of the elliptical trainers are a row of stationary bikes. There were three wrinkly old women (ok that is harsh, but you will see why in a minute) riding the bikes at turtle speed and I hear one of the ladies talking about all of the polygamy stuff that is going on in the news. I sort of listen but I am still looking around the gym checking to see who else is crazy enough to be there at that hour when I hear the woman say..."I didn't know anything about mormons until all of this." Then my ears perked up. Then she proceeded to talk for ten minutes about mormons and what they are about. Her two friends just sat there lazily riding their bikes while this one woman said what she thought to be true about mormons. She said things like..."I can't believe these mormon women are getting married when they are 15 and 16 and having children" "They are forced into getting married and these girls are ruled by their husbands, they have no say in their own life" "there are women right here in our area in wards that live like this" "they have a beautiful church right here in aliso viejo that probably cost a lot of money" "do you know that the state of Utah has the highest rate of women on Prozac, they all get married and have children and then their lives are over at these young ages". I was freaking out. My heart was pumping so hard, and I really wanted to march over there and tell her she was crazy. But instead I continued to listen. She went on to say that she used to live in New York and that her husband is a doctor and he had a young "mormon" patient come in that had two kids and she needed medication because she couldn't handle her life with two children and she was only 23. I was sick, but I didn't know what to do. SO guess what I did? NOTHING. Can you believe it. I kept thinking over and over in my head what I would say, but I got scared. I didn't want it to turn out horrible and be a huge confrontation, but why? I am so ashamed at myself, that could have been a great opportunity to tell someone the truth. Why didn't i go on a mission, darn it? Oh yeah, i was a 21 year old who was forced into getting married!!!!!! Well I do see that lady at the gym quite often, maybe I will approach her next time and give her a piece of my mind.
16 comments:
oh my gosh! That is soo incredibly annoying, I would die hearing all of that too and honestly I don't know if I'd have the guts to go up and say anything to them either. How annoying though seriously! You should totally say something next time, who cares what she thinks right?
That was me who deleted the previous comment. I realized that what I said probably should be said to you in person, and not on your blog for all to read. Haha. I might have used a swear word and said some mean, inappropriate things. :) Let's just say my heart was pounding as I read this....and I'm glad I wasn't there with you because I would have said something to those poor old ladies who don't know any better. I am sick of hearing about the FLDS - every time I get riled up about them, my sweet husband reminds me that they, too, are children of God - no matter how confused they are. Haha, and this is why I love him so!
Oh my gosh Sara! What a crazy situation to have to endure! It is a super heavy topic to just go up to someone (you don't even know) and address. It takes GUTS. Plus, I would imagine you would have to rehearse in your head for a LONG time to be sure you said the right thing and didn't just flare up in emotion. I get so bummed out when people have the wrong perception of Mormons. We are not THAT crazy!
I probably wouldn't have said anything either. I would like to think I would, but I know I probably wouldn't. Good for you being at the gym that early! That has to make you feel better.
That is a bummer that you had to hear that. I know it's hard to hold off on what your feeling. But we Mormon woman can't go around and dispell all the rumors that people say about us. I think the best thing we can do is just be a good example. Dont be so hard on yourself. One day you will be in heaven sitting in your mansion while those wrinkly old ladies are trying to figure out the truth. Sorry you had to hear that though!!!
Oh, but friend, I give you credit for going to the gym. I haven't been there in like 11 years. So I think you rock!
Wow! That is such a bummer that this is happening and giving the church a bad name. You can bet I would have marched right over there and had a thing or two to say! But you know that's just my personality, in fact that lady is LUCKY that Barbara and I weren't there together, imagine the earful she would have gotten (just ask the lady who was smoking by us at the pool last summer!)
Don't feel bad, you have dispelled LOTS of rumors just by being you. Think of all the people who can say, because they know you, "no I know a Mormon girl and she is happy and well adjusted and didn't get married when she was 15."
Don't be so hard on yourself Sara! That is such a difficult situation to be in. I feel for you. I don't know if I would have said anything, especially if I was by myself. If anything, take Brooke and Barbara with you next time and hope that you run into them again!
Well, I am sorry your didnt say anything. You know that I would have, but it may not have turned out the best. We can't go around changing everyone's minds- so hopefully they will have a TRUE encounter with a REAL LDS person sometime. But, I do have to say that half of what they said is true... like the whole Utah on Prosac thing. They are all consumed with "keeping up with the Jones'" along with keeping up with all of my kids, so they do have the highest rate of Prosac users- I have friends who work for Lilly Pharm. and they have told me that. Dont worry though... you will be better prepared for next time! I think that you should maybe say something to the lady if you see her at the gym again... that way you aren't all fired up and say something more elloquent.
Okay so that is crazy! I think I would have totally done the same thing. My heart would have been racing and I would have been furious but I'd be afraid of saying something wrong or stumbling over my words. Plus, it would have been like 3 to 1 right? Yikes. That's a good idea to say something the next time you see her, then you can be prepared. Geez I guess I definitely live in a bubble because I never thought people still really think that. I think the whole polygamy thing has confused a LOT of people recently.
That is such a tough situation to be in. I would say something next time you see them. There is nothing worse then people talking trash about the church when it's not even our church that they are talking about. I don't know what I would have done, but maybe you could say something later when you have had time to think about it without getting too fired up.
No way!!!
Tell me who that lady was... I will meet you at the gym in the morning and set her straight! And P.S... our husbands could not handle more than one wife!!! Ha!
Ok, I love what Patience said. I agree with her. I would've been so upset too and would have wanted to set these women straight. Unfortunately, if you did say something at that moment it would not have come out right cause you were upset and defensive. Just be super nice and friendly to that lady every time you see her. One day you will be given an opportunity to "chat" with her while exercising (you could set this one up) and let her know what young Mormon women are really all about!!!
I don't think you should be so hard on yourself either. I consider myself to be a fairly assertive person in situations like that, but I can tell you that I would not have been prepared to confront that at 5 am. I know I would've kept to myself and tried to ignore it. I'm not sure that saying anything would've had an effect on them anyway. Sometimes minds like those are hard to change. You will probably get another chance sometime down the road to speak your mind on the subject, but next time you will be prepared and hopefully, well-rested!
Thats so horrible, I would have said nothing to though cause i would have been really upset and it would never have came out right. You'll probaly get another oppurtunity and not be so heated. Derrick and I both cringe when we hear the polygamy stuff on the news i wish they would emphasis the Fundementalist in FLDS a little more!
On a happier note...Great to see you and the boys at Chuck e cheese yesterday!
By the way I just read camilles and patiences comments and I'll second them!
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